First Aid Kit – Cross Oceans | #notthemamawho

It feels like I am
Waiting for the rain
I want to live that life again
I want to live that life again

Or an endless secret
Parade of change
I want to cross oceans
I want to cross oceans

A few weeks ago, Worthie and I took off with Janny Bob (GBop) for some sandy beaches. It was the perfect get away during that last awful week of winter, and these pictures are making me feel better on this dreary, dreary day. We had a full week of relaxation and sunshine, and it was simply lovely.

Worth wasn’t too keen on the waves, I think his dad and I probably traumatized him as a baby by dipping his feet in the freezing cold pacific on Rodeo beach before we left San Francisco, haha. While playing in the sand he would suddenly yell out “see ya!” and take off running for the stairs to the house. After a few occurrences of this, we figured out it was timed with any particularly large waves breaking on the shore. He did, however, love the wayward cow who had been separated from her herd. I think we followed her for a mile. She was not too keen on us!

Sometimes it’s hard to believe this place is real. The memories there are pure joy, moments frozen in a frame like grains of sand in a photograph. The rest of the world melts away and we dissolve into an isolated bliss made up of fresh avocados and salt in the air {and possibly lack of reliable internet connection.}

IMG_9362beach, toddler, swim zip, shark attack, shark tank, cow, mexico IMG_9328 IMG_9333 IMG_9338 IMG_9347IMG_9386 IMG_9403 IMG_9406 IMG_9410 IMG_9412Just look at the glee on that face!

On the days that he wasn’t in the nude, Worth loved wearing his SwimZip swimsuits. (This is not a sponsored post, I don’t do those!) We are lucky enough to personally know Betsy and Andy of SwimZip and Shark Tank fame, and we seriously LOVE the suits, and the people :)! Go get some for your kids, or yourSELVES, they seriously rock.

Download the song here.

Lissie – Little Lovin’ | #notthemamawho

I gotta lotta lovin’
I gotta lotta lovin’
I gotta lotta love in my heart

If you continue to read this blog, you’re probably going to see a lot of this place. It’s such a good place.

Just pack up your toddler, skip nap time, force him to sit still for three hours on a plane full of judgey faces {I wish many cranky two-year-olds upon you, Bitchfaced Flight Attendant}, and wait in line for the slowest customs agent in the history of ever.  Take a short break for Super Pollo and Mega, then it’s just a short {really long and impossibly rough} drive through Palo Escapeta towards the East Cape. In the dark. With no weapons. Or boys. (over 2). Being exhausted and pregnant, I was in possibly the best mood of my entire life. As I’m sure you can imagine. But, we arrived safely, went to bed, and woke up to this. This place!

Birds singing, sun shining, waves crashing, fresh orange juice, what else could you want? Besides a personal coffee delivery, of course. Worth engaged in banditry, GBop time, grinning, gifting of sticks, and LOTS of nudity (and Honest swim diapers). I put my very unmanicured toes in the sand, soaked up some vitamin D, and sloughed the winter off.

That last photo of Worth is my definition of the picture of boyhood. No shirt, with a dirty face and holding a stick. After being cooped up this winter it was so nice to let him run wild and free!

toddler, honest diaper, beach, mexico IMG_9262 IMG_9311 IMG_9316IMG_9276IMG_9273toddler, beach, mexicomaternity, pregnancy, first trimester, belly, beach, mexico

The last photo of me is terrible, and I love it.

There is a saying by Isak Dinesen- “The cure for anything is salt water – tears, sweat, or the sea.”

The only cure I needed was for the winter doldrums, but the combination of the sea, sun, and mountains really hit the reset button for me. For the first time in quite a while I feel peaceful and healthy.

Download the song here.

 

Patient Hope in New Snow – Bright Eyes | #notthemamawho

Let’s make this easy and let time pass, as devotion dies,
The list goes on and on
I have waited and I will be waiting for the pain to cure the fear…

 

I love a fresh snow. {Especially one like this!}

kansas is lovely in the snow

Instantly, all my grumpiness about the cold temperatures is gone. Apparently, that’s not true for everyone.

toddler kansas winter big snow dayI too would probably be unhappy if my dad had thrown me into a snow drift and I was bundled too tightly to sit up on my own. Finny didn’t seem to mind the midget-tossing though.

Westie, snow day, kansas winter

Our awesome neighbor brought over his snow-blower and saved us {BJ} hours’ worth of shoveling. He also provided toddler {and mama} entertainment and some lovely photos.

snow blower kansas winter with sun flareSnow is my rainbow. It’s my promise that the storm is over and we can begin again.

Writing about your own life is an interesting thing. You have to decide what to share and what to keep to {for} yourself. I debated {and continue to question} whether or not to share our personal struggles. For now, I’ll tell you that we hope to have another child soon, and that I have many fears. Jenna Rammell of Small Fry Blog  {one of my favorite kiddo sites!} recently wrote to me, “…we know that fear and faith cannot reside in the same place so we have to try diligently to replace all the fear with that much more faith!” Her words about her own struggle with loss and grief, and her words of comfort to me are so wise. She’s one kick-ass chick.

I’ve heard it said that adding someone to your life means you have to “make room” in your heart. I don’t believe that. I don’t have to clear out space in order to have more love, I think my heart just grows. I’m ready for my heart to grow again, but if it doesn’t, it’s already full to the brim. Whatever happens next, I am so grateful for this little booger.Cute toddler in the snow winter motherhood

Eventually, I hope to be able to be completely open about our experiences. I am #notthemamawho is fearless in any way yet, but I’m working on it. I’m working to have faith in myself and faith in you guys. For now, I’m going to go play in the snow, and fear nothing {but potential frostbite}! What are you afraid of? hunter boots style winter snow

You can download the song here.

Start of Time – Gabrielle Aplin | Photography

Oh today I’m just a drop of water
And I’m running down a mountainside
Come tomorrow I’ll be in the ocean
I’ll be rising with the morning tide…

So I’ve been blowin’ up ya Facebook feeds lately. Sorry ’bout that.

There are exciting things are happening in my life, things I literally used to daydream about.

My dad always said, “find something you’d do for free, and get somebody to pay you for it.” Remember this post? Where I got to love on little babes and play assistant to my best friend? Well somebody pinch me, because Tara of Tara Miesner Photography  has so graciously offered to pay me to do it on a regular basis.

I’m still pinching myself when I think about it – my best friend is going to pay me to play with little tiny babies and then look at pictures of them while I geek out over getting to write, organize, and do a little accounting on the side… If you could figure out a way to throw ponies into the mix, I could never ever EVER ask for more!

We got together at the studio the other day to shoot some “professional” photos for her website. I say “professional” because posed photos are the most awkward thing for me… I’m REAL bad at them.

Case in point…

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Also this… What’s that you say? It’s my profile picture? Yes, I know, and I mostly love it. It’s just that left hand… what was I doing?

*update- Upon further review, my right hand is also awkward. I vaguely remember making a comment that I felt like I should line dance… Must be a latent impulse from all those lessons in middle school gym class. Thanks, Mrs. Gilmore.

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Never fear, friends. Tara is a genius and got a really great shot that we both loved! Magic.

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This was my favorite of the day, I find that my favorite smiles occur when I’m hugging someone I love. And also when a delightful six-year-old is taking her job as photographer very seriously. But damn, I should have painted my nails.

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All jokes aside, I don’t even have words to describe how excited and grateful I am.

Oh, and go schedule your sessions. It’ll be worth it, I promise!

How Long Will I Love You? – Ellie Goulding

How long will I love you?

As long as stars are above you

And longer if I can…

Look what I got to help with {twice!} in the last month – Twinnies! 

Tara of Tara Miesner Photography is my favorite photographer and best friend in the whole wide world. She is amazing with these little ones and I am constantly in awe of her knowledge and skill. 

In the world of digital photography it would seem that anyone can grab a DSLR, a copy of photoshop and voilà: have the perfect photo! In reality, a tremendous amount of skill and hard work  goes into creating those beautiful images. Here is a tiny peek at what goes on behind the scenes…

 

All four little guys were so fun to snuggle, {my ovaries are aaaaaching!} and watching Tara work never ceases to amaze me. 

Check out my instagram {@caitlinashworth} for a video from the first shoot. 

 

Tara is truly a professional, no quotation marks required. She soothes, wiggles, and {when necessary} composites these little darlings into the beautiful poses you can see on her website. Link above.) Above all, she keeps the babes safe and comfy!

I am so fortunate to have life-long friends, I know a lot of people never get to experience that and sometimes I take it for granted. Tara and I have been friends for {almost} 25 years, and there’s no doubt that we’ll be friends for {at least!} 25 more. 

I am grateful for our friendship every. single. day. 

Tara is a wonderful example of how to follow your dreams. I don’t think it ever occurred to her not to, and she makes it look so easy! She gives the best advice, and has this amazing way of helping you see the up-side without making you want to slap her… I still haven’t figured out her secret to that! She’s a sweet, loving mother, and a wonderful patient wife – but she’s also a REAL person. She’s my person, and I love her so. 




Ahem… anywho… to see the finished product you can check her out on Facebook here, on her blog here, or click the link earlier in the post to view her full website. 

And, as always, you can download the song here.

Royals – Lorde

Life is great without a care, we aren’t caught up in your love affairand we’ll never be royals, it don’t run in our blood that kind of luxe just ain’t for us, we crave a different kind of buzz…

You guuuyyyyysssss. Sorry I’ve been away. And sorry for being all “you guuuyyyyyssss.” It’s just really been that kinda day {/week/month/summer}. Been REAL busy. Check it out, yo.

My buses came to visit us!

Sorry for the crappy self-facing iPhone photo… It may or may not have been creeping up on 2am. We may or may not have had our daily recommended {very} healthy servings of wine.

Bus. Bus. Bus. I could write an entire blog about our {many} adventures, instead I’ll just say that I love these girls more than Caramel Delights and Skinny Pop.

 

 

Zia had on some very concerning red lipstick.

When my bus Val comes, we pretty much center the whole visit around food. It’s our buzz. {yeah… so my whole life is centered around food… but we’ll use Val as an excuse.} Doesn’t have to be fancy, just has to be good. 

Local Pig is relatively new on the KC food scene and BOY have they quickly become a contenda! I can’t recommend them enough, whether you’re after locally sourced meat {of almost any kind}, specialty food items {some I’d never heard of!}, or just a damn delicious lunch, Local Pig is your NEW BEST FRIEND. Check them out at 2618 Guinotte Ave, KCMO. (This post is not sponsored, I just seriously love this place like whoa.) 

 

 

 

We always wear our Freshly Picked Moccs when we go to the coolest places… duh.

We came, we played in the rocks, we ate. This. We almost forgot to take a picture of it before we devoured it. “It” was a delicious Cuban. I must have already eaten all the homemade chips. 

 

We did a fun photoshoot. {P.S. Don’t do a photoshoot after you have stuffed your faces full.} 

 

 

 

We went inside so I could buy some sausages and beef and pork chops and eggs and honey and coffee and stuffed dates and shaving cream and spices and… this could go on for a while…

Locally made Oddly Correct Coffee 
Who doesn’t like mason jars?

They butcher in-house. They teach classes. They have rad tattoos. They have a slightly scary cow poster. What’s not to love?

Yayyyyyy Local Pig!

Stay tuned for more catching up… 

Download the song here.

 

 

 

 

Bixby Canyon Bridge – Death Cab for Cutie

All the way from San Francisco, as I chased the end of your road. ‘Cause I’ve still got miles to go,  to go…..

San Francisco was such an important time in the life of our family. Our wedding, Worth’s birth, some of our best friendships all occurred there. Our young marriage was forged in steel as one blow after another came upon us and we only had each other to rely on. (Yes, I realize I’m dangling my prepositions. Sounded better that way. Deal.) But we managed to laugh and love and dance, more often than not. 

On our 8-day roadtrip home from California we actually drove across the Bixby Canyon Bridge. It was a truly awesome place. It was eerie and sad and beautiful, a very fitting farewell to Norcal.

Now that we’re home in Kansas, (well, technically Missouri, for the moment) seemingly at the end of our road, I’m reflecting on all that has passed. We’ve come so far, and yet we still have so far to go. We are growing, changing. All of us. Each of us. Some days I love what we’re becoming, and others I fight tooth and nail against it.

Kansas’ weather seems to be in step with my battle. So far in the past week we’ve had: mountains of snow, mild and 65 degrees, humid and 82 degrees, snow again, aaaaand a current temp of 35 and freezing rain. Neat! Ha, I shouldn’t complain, I knew what we were coming back to. (Make a comment about the prepositions and I’ll… stick my tongue out at you… or… something.) 

One thing remains true on both fronts – I enjoy unpredictability, but I’m ready for everything to bloom.

Download the song here.